Child upbringing, from experience, is one of the toughest duties of parents, guardians, teachers and care-givers. Just a little mistake, negligence or wrong-doing can affect the child for the rest of his or her life.
As a child grows up and starts mingling with people, the task of parenting becomes even more challenging. One major task is dealing with what the child hides from you. It becomes more problematic where the child’s secret is a “dangerous” one. Thus, because the parent does not know about the child’s secret(s), guiding the child becomes almost impossible.
Cultism, gansterism, alcoholism, criminal practices, using hard drugs, smoking, prostitution are a few of such destructive secrets which some children battle with everyday to make such practices stay as SECRETS ! Sadly, and in most cases, so much damage would have been done by the time such secrets become known.
It is quite difficult to find out if your child is battling with a “dangerous” secret. But there could be signs to serve as a wake-up call to people around, especially parents, guardians and teachers, which could suggest that the child has something going on “behind the curtains.
I have interracted with virtually all kinds of children – happy, emotionally disturbed, from happy homes, from poor homes, rich and popular families, from broken homes, brilliant, not so brilliant, low IQ, humble and respectful, arrogant and disrespectful, violent, gentle…..the list continues.
All of these encounters, coupled with my experience as a parent, plus happenings around me, far and near, form the bases of the tips below. Become suspicious, watchful and inquisitive when you notice any, or a combination of the following about your child….
1. Where the child suddenly becomes withdrawn and keeps to himself most of the time.
2. Where a very active and lively child suddenly becomes too quiet and it is confirmed that he is not sick.
3. Where the child suddenly becomes too secretive with his or her mobile device or computer.
4. Where the child spends more time locked up in his or her room more than ever before, or keeps a wide distance anytime he or she is using the computer or mobile device.
5. Where the child starts sleeping too much during the day. It may mean that he or she has not been sleeping well at night.
6. Where the child’s academics suddenly begins to experience a downward turn.
7. Where he or she suddenly becomes too violent and disrespectful to his parents, teachers, guardian or care givers.
8. Where the child starts talking or asking questions about death, suicide or always draws images related to death.
9. When your he or she suddenly starts having friends of questionable character and appearance.
10. Where the child starts keeping late nights and cannot give good reasons for that.
11. Where the child becomes too protective of his bag, room, wardrobe and other places where he keeps his or her things.
12. Where a child suddenly starts talking talking in support of crime and criminals and shows a strong urge to get rich quick.
Even though the signs above may be unconnected with a dangerous secret(s), it is very important to find out the reason behind a child’s strange and suspicious behaviour. It could be due to:
1. Resisting a career choice forced upon him or her by the parents.
2. Family problems like broken home, needs not being met, constant fighting by parents etc.
3. Relationship problems
4. Problems with friends etc.
As the battle to make the secret(s) remain a secret, there will be a lot of lies, scheming and deception from the child. We owe our children and children put under our care a huge responsibility of care and guidance…..without excuses. This also includes unearthing their secrets and guiding them rightly.
Happy and successful parenting 🙂
Image courtesy marin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net