Tolerance, understanding, perseverance, patience,
concern for the children, consideration for your partner in all that you do
and prayers are some of the things that has
kept some couples together for tens of years.
These days, the rate at which marriages and relationships are crashing, especially well celebrated ones, really calls for concern. Interestingly, these marriages, in particular, which do not enjoy the light of day, are always (except in rare cases) preceded by so much display of merriment, happiness, love, glamour (if the couples and their families can afford it) and lots of hope. Just when you are about to ask how the couples are finding their new world, you hear or read that the marriage has hit the rocks! How sad.
Seven years into marriage may not qualify me to be a much-sought-after marriage counselor, but it has really been a great experience for me, which has led to the over fifty (50) posts I have shared under SINGLE AND MARRIED category of this blog. One major thing it has done for me is putting a question on my lips which no one has been able to give me a satisfactory answer to. The question is actually the title of my post, which has been on the waiting list for so long – Does Perfect Marriages And Relationships Really Exists?
If you are married or about to, please permit me to ask these rhetorical questions: Do you have a perfect marriage or relationship? If your answer is “NO,” then answer these ones: Did you expect to have a perfect marriage/relationship? Did you expect your spouse or partner to be ALL you expected him/her to be all through your marriage or relationship? Did you think that it is possible for a human being created of God not to “sin against you” in the course of your marriage or relationship? Do you think someone else would have given you ALL you ever wanted in a marriage or relationship?
On the flip side, if your answer is YES, what will you do if your spouse does the unexpected and your relationship/marriage starts experiencing problems? File for a divorce? Ask for a separation? Abscond? Or display your boxing or wrestling skills? 🙂
I stand to be corrected that one of the major causes of tension in most relationships and marriages is the fact that couples and partners alike, do not give the topic of my post a well-deserved DEEP consideration. So, what you have is a situation where marriages are being controlled by events and not deep and realistic approach to problem-solving.
If you ask me, the search for a perfect marriage/relationship is possible, but it will be tantamount to a wild goose chase. This is what I told myself before and after I got married. What I saw was a very good woman who would forever be human. As they say, to err is human. I did not foresee a marriage without its own fair share of challenges. I observed that all the wonderful marriages/relationships I knew had their own fair share of troubles. What was different was the nature and extent of the problem.
I also observed that all troubled marriages/relationships once had their moment of bliss. So, what this meant was that all marital/relationship problems simply needed the right words and actions to restore peace. Except for life-threatening problems, marital/relationship problems are normal and should be expected. They all have origins and causes. We are talking about two people with different personal/family backgrounds, likes, dislikes, orientation, education, exposure, experience and traits coming together.
My friend, there is bound to be issues once in a while. Tolerance, understanding, perseverance, patience, concern for the children, consideration for your partner in all that you do and prayers, are some of the things that has kept some couples together for tens of years. I have had my own fair share of marital problems. If you are married, I am sure you have had yours too 🙂
Wishing you tons of peace in your marriages/relationships.
Thanks for your time.
Image courtesy: Ambro/FreeDigitalPhotos.net