You can force a horse to the stream, but you cannot force it to drink water. So goes the popular saying. This is apparently akin to one of the major challenges that teachers face on a daily bases, namely, teaching unwilling students or students who are obviously in the wrong class or career. One of the major causes of these is a student offering a subject or in a career forced upon them by their parents or the effect of peer influence.
Parental and peer influence is a serious problem that has had serious and far-reaching consequences on the lives of children/students and even adults. A student who prefers one subject or career and the parents or friends prefer another, is simply reduced to a programmed robot that simply does what is expected of him with total disregard for the preferences and feelings of the boy or girl.
Such a student will definitely have problems with concentration, assimilation, dedication and focus in school. It will be a miracle to find such students do well in school. Assignments and classwork will be big burdens for such a student. Such students will always have mood swings and may appear completely withdrawn from school activities. He or she is just like a feather being tossed around by the wind. The student does not have a mind of his or her own. School results and reports will definitely reflect these facts.
At work, competence will definitely play out the history of their education. Such an individual will find it hard live up to expectation. This should not come as a surprise. In jobs where the competence of the person is very easy to see like teaching, medicine, law, architecture, accounting, engineering, computer science and the like, the person’ s career may be in a disaster. Why? Because “FORCE” and not personal DREAMS and ASPIRATIONS took them to where they found themselves. Working with students for the past 15 years has revealed that one of the worst things parents can do to their children will be to force them into pursuing a particular career against their wishes. In extreme cases, a father/mother has threatened to disown the child if the chosen career is not pursued.
Many children’s lives have been destroyed in the course of parents trying to make their children be what they (the parents and friends) want them to be, not caring about the dreams and aspirations of the child. One fact many parents have bluntly refused to accept is that things have changed !!! We are now in era where those so-called never-do-well careers have turned a lot of people to superstars and super-rich. And in many instances, the so-called big-careers have failed to yield the expected results.
My take on this is very simple. Children should be allowed to make their career choices. They should be allowed to identify their talents, strengths, preferences and areas of interests and then receive a guided assistance from their parents and peers who have the necessary knowledge. Parents, in particular, should only guide and advice their children. They should be interested in the reasons behind a particular career choice being made. This is to ensure that the choices made are based on enough facts and wisdom and not based on peer pressure and misguided assistance from outsiders. The highest parents can do is to try to persuade and not to force their children.
It is necessary to remind parents that it is the child’s life we are talking about here. So the child should have the final say on subject and career decisions. How would you feel, if, as a parent, your child walks up to you and says : “mummy/daddy you forced me into this career that I never liked and which has now made me useless to myself and the world!”
Think about it 🙂
Thanks for your time.
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